Fresh Squeezed

Drink Your Juice, Shelby

It’s been a few weeks since the protest at Stanford Law over the appearance of Judge Kyle Duncan at the invitation of the Federalist Society. If you haven’t viewed any video of this debacle (and your blood pressure medication prescription is filled), I recommend taking a look. Take a look at one of the most breathtaking, crystal clear examples of the censorious, anti-free speech, psycho-babble nonsense of DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) captured on video to date: the insipid performance of Stanford University Associate DEI Dean Tirien Steinbach.

Of all the smug and mocking displays of the cult I’ve seen, Ms. Steinbach’s takes the cake. Actually, she qualifies for the full “Anita Bryant:” a pie in the face. Arriving like the DEI-us ex machina, armed with prepared notes and wearing a color-coordinated mint green ensemble, cooing in a pretentious yoga teacher voice, Ms. Steinbach confronts Judge Duncan.

DEI Associate Dean Steinbach preaches her gospel to Judge Duncan

Now, look. I’m not a conservative. By any stretch. I’ve always been a registered Democrat and a classic liberal type. I imagine The Federalist Society to reek of chess and lager, sexual frustration, and magic Mormon underwear. In no way do Judge Duncan’s politics and beliefs align with my own. I’m not a fan of Trump appointees in general, or Judge Duncan himself, to be honest——but he’s not Joseph Mengele. That’s not the point. And if you’re the kind of person who tries to make it the point, it’s because you know it’s not the point and you can’t handle the point.

So what’s my point? It’s this:

This was a $#@%!! LAW SCHOOL. These were future lawyers inviting a sitting Federal judge to come and speak about serious public policy matters. AT A LAW SCHOOL. The Federalist Society was discouraged, then obstructed, then ostracized. Before Judge Duncan could even begin his remarks, he was howled down and chanted at, the object of obscene invective and nastiness directed against his family—BY LAW STUDENTS AT STANFORD. Students who could have participated in a rare opportunity to engage in vigorous but civil engagement with the judge, challenging his rulings and his ideas whilst educating themselves for a real world where the law is nothing but a series of these kinds of engagements—and where the stakes are exponentially higher.

BUT NO.

Once the howling cabal has reached peak vulgarity, in sweeps the resident Woke Carrie Nation, Ms. Steinbach. Here’s just a snippet of her insincere and manipulative “unprepared” remarks. She just “had to write something down” because she’s so “uncomfortable.” PUH-LEEZE. This protest had been going on for weeks, and the whole debacle was staged, with Ms. Steinbach’s explicit or implicit participation and approval.

DEAN STEINBACH: I had to write something down because I am so uncomfortable up here. And I don’t say that for sympathy. I’m just saying I’m deeply, deeply uncomfortable. I’m uncomfortable ‘cause this event is tearing at the fabric of this community that I care about and am here to support. And I don’t know and I have to ask myself and I’m not a cynic to ask this: Is the juice worth the squeeze? Is this worth it?

*Audience snaps their fingers*

JUDGE DUNCAN: Like I said, this is a setup.

DEAN STEINBACH: It isn’t a setup. But for many people in this law school who work here, who study, here and who live here, your advocacy, your opinions from the bench, land as absolute disenfranchisement of their rights and [inaudible].

*Audience snaps in approval. Duncan tries to interject—*

DEAN STEINBACH: Please let me finish.

AUDIENCE: Let her finish! She’s speaking! Let her finish!

It isn’t a setup??? Right. She does eventually finish—after patronizing the judge, giving a soppy, mock-pious performance that ever so slightly gives one the creeps. Here’s one of the more incoherent tangents Ms. Steinbach goes off on before wrapping up her nauseating admonishments:

DEAN STEINBACH: I’m also uncomfortable because many of the people in the room here I’ve come to care for and in my role at this university my job is to create a space of belonging for all people in this institution. And that is hard and messy and not easy and the answers are not black or white or right or wrong. This is actually part of the creation of belonging. And it doesn’t feel comfortable and it doesn’t always feel safe. But there are always places of safety. And there is always an intention from this administration to make sure you all can be in a place where you feel fully you can be here, learn, grow into the amazing advocates and leaders and lawyers that you’re going to be.

I’m sorry folks, I try to stay away from the blue language, but WHAT THE FUCK. What the fuck is the “creation of belonging?” Good grief. I can’t with this woman.

But wait—there’s more! Here’s the worst of it. This is the bold faced hypocrisy.

DEAN STEINBACH: Because me and many people in this administration do absolutely believe in free speech. We believe that it is necessary. We believe that the way to address speech that feels abhorrent, that feels harmful, that literally denies the humanity of people, that one way to do that is with more speech and not less. And not to shut you down or censor you or censor the student group that invited you here. That is hard. That is uncomfortable. And that is a policy and a principle that I think is worthy of defending, even in this time. Even in this time. And again I still ask: Is the juice worth the squeeze?

She and the “many people in the administration” neither believe in free speech nor grammar, it seems. She’s fond of that little quip about the juice and the squeeze. Did she coin that one? Clever britches. More on the juice and the squeeze in just a wee mo. First I want to say to this Steinbach person:

You’re a disgrace. But you’re merely the messenger, aren’t you? And not a very credible one. I suggest an acting coach (I know an excellent one). Do you think we’re all just a bunch of ol’ stupidheads out here?? You don’t want to shut them down or censor? WHAT? Dean Steinbach, you’re trying to sell us that you’re here to support his free speech while condemning speech that “feels abhorrent?” One of your septum-pierced protesters suggested the Judge’s daughters should be raped—how’s that for harm? You have the audacity to drawl out this “juice” metaphor, trying to convince us that it’s Judge Duncan who’s doing the squeezing! That in his callous, selfish desire to accept the invitation to come and speak, he’s made this whole vile protest happen. It’s all his fault for coming at all. It’s like an abusive husband, after beating his wife, saying, “Well, if you wouldn’t do things to make me angry…” This is some straight up bullshit, here. The Judge brought his juice, and Dean Steinbach and Stanford’s Children of the Corn started to squeeze.

Beyond all the politics, it’s just gross behavior unbecoming the top law school in the land. And I’m not the only one who feels that way, apparently. Dean Steinbach, after admitting her mishandling of the situation in a recent interview in the New York Times, is currently—ahem—on leave; whether this is voluntary or at the request of the university is unknown. Hmmm.

So here’s some juice for you, Shelby—er—Ms. Steinbach. Fresh squeezed. I hope you’re doing some navel gazing during your time off, and questioning the truly misguided tactics of the so-called movement that employs you: the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Industrial Complex. Because about now, you should be feeling the squeeze of a public that is weary. Weary not just of the shrieking, soup-tossing, fuscia-haired mob, but of the supercilious, self important, authorita-tish, DEI pushers like you, Dean Steinbach. We’re tired of having to pretend we don’t see your machinations and manipulations; that we can’t perceive your reinvented words and esoteric concepts of social construction. We’re tired of being gaslit, and lectured at, and insulted, and threatened, and lied to.

I recently attended a gathering of artists affiliated with a great organization, the Foundation Against Intolerance and Racism (FAIR), as a meet and greet for new board member, Heather Blakeslee. Heather is a visual artist and musician, and incredibly articulate and incisive on matters dealing with the social justice movement and its affect on the Arts. She said many fascinating things during our conversation, but there was one that really stuck with me. At one point, she looked me in the eye and said, “I’m tired of being afraid all the time.”

Woof. It hit me in the solar plexus. Yeah. The past three years have been a trial for all of us—the attack on the Capitol, covid lockdowns, the George Floyd murder and Black Lives Matter protests, the rioting, the struggling economy—we’ve been through it! And I don’t know about you folks, but I’ve had it. Enough of this continuous needling and screeching and lecturing and “training” and struggling and cancelling! Enough. To quote Peter Finch in the Oscar-winning film Network (check it out on your Google machines, kids):

I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!

Peter Finch in Network, 1976

How’s that for a squeeze, Dean Steinbach? I truly, truly hope that the reason you’re “on leave,” doing downward dog somewhere (hopefully meditating on the meaning of free speech), is because Stanford didn’t like the squeeze they were getting and grew a pair.

Now, drink the rest of your juice, Shelby. That’s right, dear. And watch out for the pips.