'Round and 'Round We Go

How My Note About the LGBTQ+ "Community" Struck a Nerve...

Should the “LGB” separate from the “TQ+?”

Greetings, Cornfield Readers! Before I dig into this post, I want to be very, very clear about my positions on the matter at hand, in the form of a disclaimer. For the record:

• There are people in my personal life and in the public sphere whom I love, respect and admire who identify as trans, queer, non-binary etc. I realize some will read that declaration as “some of my best friends are…” pablum. I can’t do anything about that. While I fully empathize with the individual struggles of these people, and the challenges facing their communities, and while I fully acknowledge that there has long been, and there still exists, some common ground that I, as a gay man, share with these communities politically, I do not see myself as part of those communities; nor do I find it useful to lump myself in with all the disparate groups that gather under the ever-expanding LGBTQIA2S+ acronym under the Progress Pride flag—see my piece below for more:

  Community Credulity

• I do not believe that Trump, or any leader, should have the power to decree that there are only two genders. I do not believe that trans and trans-identifying people should be expelled or excluded from public office or the military. This is wrong and discriminatory, and, in my view, un-American. However, I fully support the dismantling of the unelected, authoritarian, bureaucratic state that is DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion). Taking advantage of the global covid crisis in 2020, exploiting the outrage fomented by the George Floyd murder and the national “racial reckoning” that followed, the DEI industrial complex Trojan-horsed its way into every area of American life, including the federal government and military, where it has wreaked havoc and division in the name of inclusivity and diverse representation, whilst amassing for its peddlers and proponents vast wealth and influence. These operatives have no interest in eradicating racism or homophobia, or any of the societal ills they purport to be “disrupting.” If they were to do so, they’d be out of a job. These people, many of whom, I’m sure, have strong convictions and think they’re committed to doing good, are actually harming more than they’re helping, in my opinion.

• I am not an active participant in the current movement to separate the LGB (Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual) “communities” from the TQ+ (Trans, Queer etc) “communities,” but I understand why organizations like the LGB Alliance exist, especially in the UK—where they have no First Amendment right to free speech, and where law enforcement routinely arrests and prosecutes people for opinions and “non crime hate incidents,” destroying lives and careers in the process.

• I believe strongly that the trans, “gender-diverse” and queer activist communities have done serious damage to public acceptance and support of lesbian, gay and bisexual people, primarily by targeting children. We fought long and hard to dispel public fears and misconceptions regarding gay people and children. We have fought to root out and expose perpetrators of pedophilia and predators preying on vulnerable gay youth. This is why many people—lesbian, gay, bisexual and transexual—are deeply concerned about the medicalization and indoctrination of kids. When “queer” militants march through the streets in the name of Pride chanting “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re coming for your children,” I not only recoil from it—I waste no time in disassociating myself from it in the most unequivocal of terms. These kinds of sentiments and activities, including the supposedly benign “Drag Queen Story Hour,” which I have written about here at The Cornfield (see embed below), set back the gay rights movement decades—giving those who truly hate and fear us a platform from which to attack us, and our hard-earned rights. As someone who was sexualized at 11, and whose early sexual experiences during adolescence were with adult pedophiles, I cannot, and will not, explicitly nor by association, support the imposition of adult concepts of sexuality and gender on children; nor will I endorse the use of drugs and life-altering surgeries on minors in the name of “gender affirming care.” If, in the eyes of some in my “community,” this makes me right wing—so be it. Leave the kids alone.

  What is "Kid Friendly" Gay Culture?

  Phew. Okay. I think that covers the disclaimer portion of this week’s post. I welcome newbies to visit the pieces I linked above, and others I’ve posted here at The Cornfield! With the disclaimers done, let’s get to the nitty gritty.

The Notes feature on Substack

So, I was going to publish an essay this week on the “queering” of the culture (this essay, Pink Like Me…? is forthcoming, so subscribe and stay tuned), but I got sidetracked. I’ve recently started posting in the Notes section of Substack, in order to stay engaged with readers between essays; my current employment in theatre has been cutting into my writing time, allowing for only one or two postings a month. Notes has helped me discover, connect with, and follow some great people writing stimulating and illuminating stuff. Whilst musing on the whole “queer” issue, last week I jotted down some thoughts in a Note, relating to the LGBTQ “community:”

It’s not possible to be an “LGBTQ person.” I’m gay. I’m not L or B or T or Q or I or A or 2Spirit+. I don’t lead with my gayness—like, ever. Gay is one of many things I am and not even close to the most important one. This business of power hungry activists and drama queens, throwing disparate groups of people together—then pressuring them all to pretend they have the same needs and wants…demanding they adhere to one set of political views…this is stupid and wrong. It’s “time’s up” for this bullshit.

As of this writing, the note has received 43 comments, 656 likes, and 35 re-stacks. Most of the comments thank me for articulating this viewpoint in the way I did. Some were from fellow gay Gen-X’ers who resonated with my perspective. Some openly advocate for the separation of the “LGB” from the “TQ+.” This comment, from “William H.” echoes the predominant sentiment in the thread:

As a gay man myself, whose “gayness” is probably the least interesting part of him, I heartily agree. I think the recent obsession with “labels” is very strange, all the while we are supposed to believe in the importance and “uniqueness” of every individual. I think there are a lot of uninteresting people out there who, realizing they were lied to when told they are wonderfully unique and fascinating children when growing up, are desperately trying to make themselves interesting and unique by adopting a ready-made uniqueness-label. All very ironic.

Now, one thing I’ve discovered since engaging in Notes is that these short form posts reach a much wider audience than my essays seem to on Substack. Consequently, they also tend to attract some nasty and even unhinged commentary from random folks who, triggered by the topic at hand, take the opportunity to pounce and trounce. Not surprisingly, most of these types choose to remain anonymous here on Substack. Their subscribers and followers are few to none, because they write and post nothing. It seems they’re mainly here to troll actual writers, re-stack conspiracy theories and outrage porn, and try to get others into a heated back and forth with them in order to bring some excitement to what can only assume to be their miserable, lonely lives.

A few such types, of the gay-hating, bible-thumping variety, took the opportunity to jump on the comment thread of the above note to call me a SODOMITE and to assure me that I and the rest of the gays are going to burn in hell for our perverted sex practices—which they describe in such prurient detail it makes this queen muse: the lady doth protest too much, methinks. There really isn’t anyone more obsessed with ass-fucking than a raging homophobe. One such who commented here was an anonymous woman of color who goes by “Annie3000.” Annie, who has 27 subscribers, hasn’t actually written or posted anything—but her profile tagline assures us: “I’m a new writer, but not unfamiliar with writing.” Apparently, she’s very familiar with writing vitriolic comments on other people’s writings. Her contribution to the thread read as follows:

Did you speak up when homos were suing Christians into oblivion for refusing service and association? Did you speak up when the Supreme Court unilaterally decided men can get married, when they can’t? Then frankly, shut up. You’re the reason we are in this place. Your ongoing delusion your penis is meant to sodomize other men is why we will always be in this place.

Oh, Annie, darling, I assure you—straight people like ass-play, too. You should get out more. In fact, here’s my advice, since you seem so interested: go and get yourself a nice pleasant enema, then start with some modest-sized vibrating anal beads and lots of lube, and show your anus some love. No one needs to know. It might change your life…or at the very least give you something new to put in place of the stick you have up your ass. You’re welcome.

“Annie3000.” If she has the right to disparage my penis, I can post her photo.

I have no time for the evangelical homophobes; they’re a lost cause. Anyway. The real huffing and puffing came from another anonymous dink who goes by “John” (mmm, original) and whose Substack account is lyle4044402. John, who is a self professed “Science Fan,” has a whopping five subscribers, and, like our friend Anal Annie hasn’t written or posted anything of his own. He should, because he apparently has an awful lot to say. Triggered by my note, he felt compelled to write this:

You can say all that openly because people went before you and took risks, sometimes costing them their lives. What is just normal life for you was a life of hell for them, which is why they made it political. Perhaps the people you disparage so much are still feeling that hate from other parts of society. Have you asked any of them?

John clearly didn’t bother to read my profile description or scan over any of the 85 essays I’ve published, so I set the record…um…straight:

—Sweetheart, I came out in 1984 and I became an activist. I spent a childhood and young adulthood being beaten and bullied. I marched and bled and fought for my rights and equality, I AM a person who took risks and went through hell. So don’t lecture me, honey.

I got a few enthusiastic likes from followers for that one. John, however, was undeterred:

You think it’s not needed any more? You’re a dreamer.

He then proceeded to cite a case of alleged anti-trans violence and murder, along with a link to a news story. It seems that my “rhetoric,” and my opinion that I be permitted to declare my gay autonomy from the alphabet “community” is in some way contributing to hate crime incidents against trans people. This is a tactic often employed by the screaming me-me’s—any dissent from the accepted progressive set of views and values somehow puts people’s lives at risk. I responded:

—I never said that. My original post was about how shoving a bunch of disparate groups together and requiring homogeny of thought and need is WRONG. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.

John’s nonsensical reposte and the exchange that followed:

You seem more interested in being divisive within the non-binary community than you are supporting them.

—I wish the non binary community well. I’m just not part of it. Is the point.

You don’t seem to be wishing anyone well, and you are part of it by simply being non-binary. You can live your life in a reasonable and normal way because of battles fought in the past. Instead of being angry toward people in that community, honour the past struggles and get angry over something else, like right wing racism or children being threatened and murdered in their classrooms. You promote hate that actually re-victimizes people who have fought long and hard to live normal lives.

—I am not non-binary. Are you a bot? You don’t seem to be getting it.

You aren’t wishing them well, either. You’re venting anger at them. It’s hard to know why you don’t get that.

—I’m not venting anything. All this is your interpretation and you are welcome to it. Lumping vast and disparate groups of people together under one banner with the expectation that everyone labeled in the acronym thinks the same, feels the same, needs the same things, and are fighting the same fight with the same set of goals is not only unrealistic, it’s unfair. You wanna see anger? Try contradicting the LGBTQ+ activist cult in ANY WAY. Those folks are the bullies. Those folks don’t wish anyone well who doesn’t fall in line. TRUTH. I need to stop engaging with you now, John. I DO wish YOU well, but this dialogue is going nowhere.

John didn’t get the hint. He just detoured, employing a passive-aggressive tactic often used by leftist activists: he questioned why I care.

You keep proving my point. Why do you care? Why does anyone care? US democracy is completely falling apart, and this is all you can come up with? No, it speaks to a deep-seated need to vent rage. Only the extreme right, who have now taken over the US, care. It’s to keep you distracted with nonsense while they take control of every lever of government.

Ah. There it is. So now I’m extreme right. Gotcha.

—John, go touch grass. Go with God. GOOD BYE.

Nope. John needed the last word, dammit.

If I see your rage, I will challenge it. The time for pretending it isn’t making things worse is long past.

—Love, look in the mirror. THAT’S rage. YOU are making things worse. I really am done with you. I want folks to see this thread so I won’t block you. But you gotta pick on someone else now.

Next, John tried to justify his belligerence toward me:

Imagine…being angry at racism and violence against children, after years of watching it unfold like a slow-mo car crash, only to see the likes of you amplify it all. At least you openly admit that you’re relentless in your search for spreading your rage against people who have nothing to do with you. Are you in Putin’s employ? It’s right outta his playbook, garnered from his years in the KGB. Go figure!

Okay. Well, now we’ve gone off the rails. Now I’m responsible for racism and violence against kids, and am quite possibly a Russian operative.

—Darling take off the tin hat and get on with it. DONE. Is anyone else witnessing this person’s de-lu-lu?? Oy vey! Talk about entitlement and self righteous arrogance.

What follows is just some nanny-nanny-poo-poo shit:

K, dude. Glad you need to make it all about me. I thought you were leaving.

—No dude, I want YOU to leave. BYE.

Free speech, dude.

—Then go take your anonymous, cowardly self to your five subscribers and unleash your speech on them.

Nope, I direct at at whomever I see who is feeding the rage machine. That would be you, among others.

I admit it—I stayed too long at the fair with “John.” I kept engaging, and I’m not proud of it. After copying his comments for use in this piece, I did what I should have done at the start: blocked his ass. It’s this kind of nasty stuff that made me quit Twitter years ago, and which has transformed my social media into space for completely apolitical sharing of inspirational quotations, the latest news from my show biz life, and the occasional photo of a batch of cookies I’ve baked. Nevertheless, I found the whole encounter interesting and challenging…because it made me question, for the first time since joining Substack two years ago, if it’s worth getting my blood pressure up by engaging here at all.

Smart gay voices I listen to. Clockwise from upper left: Andrew Doyle, James Dreyfus, Douglas Murray, Andrew Sullivan

So, what do you think? I’ve shared the experience with “John” and “Annie3000” to invite some constructive input from my readers. What’s your view of the efficacy of the Notes feature on Substack, and how do you use it in the advancement of your writing and publishing here? On the subject of the “LGB” vs. the “TQ+", what are your views about how to go forward in the face of a conservative takeover of the U.S. government and right wing cultural backlash—as progressives, leftist and queer activists double down in “resistance?” I’m especially interested in the views of other gay men of my vintage and how they are feeling in the current cultural and political moment. I follow writers and commentators like Douglas Murray, Andrew Doyle, James Dreyfus and Andrew Sullivan assiduously. Are there other voices you feel are worth listening to? Please share! I’m considering a subscriber chat session here on Substack to engage with like minded people—is this something you’d be interested in? Please comment on this post if it has resonated with you, and do subscribe to The Cornfield—we are almost to 800 subscribers! Stay Tuned and Stay Strong.