"Wisenheimer" Part Seven

Pilot/Episode 1: "The Phone Call" Part Seven

Every week, a few pages post, in the spirit of serial storytellers like Dickens and Maupin—and this content is for paid subscribers only! Five bucks a month? C’mon, such a deal.

DISCLAIMER: “WISENHEIMER” is for adults over 18. If produced, it would bear an MA rating. It’s for grown-ups. There is sexual content and the story deals with strong adult themes, as well as socio-political satire and comedy. “WISENHEIMER” is an original work of fiction, written entirely by me, all rights reserved.

You can view the video pitch deck for “WISENHEIMER” here. And for a brief primer on basic screenplay stuff for easier reading, this is helpful.

INT. CANTWELL KITCHEN - DAY

Neil is cooking with Hart. His apron reads “WORLD’S BEST DAD.” MacKenzie, carrying her school backpack, comes in.

MACKENZIE

Hey.

NEIL

Hey, sweetie. You want something to eat?

MACKENZIE

Nah. 

MacKenzie opens the fridge. She makes sure they’re not watching, then quickly slips two beers into her backpack. She takes out a soda, pops it, checks out what they’re cooking.

Hart pulls a casserole out of the oven. She turns to put it down and her sister’s in her way.

HART

Excuse me. Hot.

MacKenzie hops up to sit on the counter. The girls glare at each other. 

NEIL

Hart, that smells so good.

Neil smiles at MacKenzie. She sips her soda.

MACKENZIE

So...Ezra’s a fag, right?

NEIL

Hey! When did you start using words like that?

MACKENZIE

Well, come on! He’s obviously gay. And what about that social-worker-person-thing--

NEIL

Ms. Wilson--

HART

Ro.

MACKENZIE

Creeps me out.

NEIL

MacKenzie, be nice.

MACKENZIE

It’s freaky! Oh, yeah, right, like you didn’t think so!

Hart slams the casserole lid down.

HART

How did you fucking get like this? Suddenly, you’re a homophobic, transphobic--

MACKENZIE

And you’re a freak, too!

NEIL

Guys, come on! Let’s just try to get along. Your Gran is in the hospital.

MacKenzie jumps down from the counter, grabs her backpack.

MACKENZIE

She’s not my grandmother, okay?  You should be thinking about us. This is so unfair!

HART

Dementia’s unfair! It’s not Gran’s fault!

NEIL

It’s nobody’s fault!

MACKENZIE

Whatever!

She tosses her soda in the trash and flounces out of the room.

Hart extracts the can from the trash, rinses it. Tosses it in the blue recycling bin as she leaves.

HART 

I’m gonna change and go to the hospital.

NEIL

I’ll take you--

HART

I can get there.

She leaves. Neil looks down at his apron, forlorn.

INT. CANTWELL FOYER - CONTINUOUS

Hart bounds up the stairs, passes MacKenzie coming down. Her hair is loose and she’s put on makeup.

HART

Cunt.

MACKENZIE

Loser.

Hart goes up to her room, slams the door. MacKenzie slams out the front door.

EXT. CANTWELL HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

As MacKenzie comes out of the house, a noisy junker Corolla pulls up.

A YOUNG GUY(20) is behind the wheel. He’s thin, pale, wears a red “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN” cap.

MacKenzie gives him a flirty wave and gets in. The car noisily peels out.