"Wisenheimer" Part Three

Pilot/Episode 1: "The Phone Call" (Part 3)

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DISCLAIMER: “WISENHEIMER” is for adults over 18. If produced, it would bear an MA rating. It’s for grown-ups. There is sexual content and the story deals with strong adult themes, as well as socio-political satire and comedy. “WISENHEIMER” is an original work of fiction, written entirely by me, all rights reserved.

You can view the video pitch deck for “WISENHEIMER” here. And for a brief primer on basic screenplay stuff for easier reading, this is helpful.

INT. EZRA’S APARTMENT - LATER

Ezra’s apartment is a wild mix of mid-century modern, Salvation Army, and Tom of Finland that somehow works.

Street side living room with a fire escape at the window. A beat up sleeper sofa and a Murphy bed in the wall, opposite the galley kitchen.

Ezra, in bathrobe and combat boots, sits on the sofa, between Rufus and Jack.  They silently pass a joint as Ezra stares at his phone. 

EZRA

It’s gotta be about Mom.

Rufus takes a deep toke.

EZRA

I’m gonna have to call her back.

RUFUS

(holding in his toke) Yep.

He passes the joint to Ezra, who shakes his head no. Jack takes the joint.

JACK

How long has it been, man?

EZRA

Since I heard from Naomi? Four, five years? Through lawyers. Since we saw each other...? Fuck. Almost twenty.

RUFUS

So, like, you don’t even know each other anymore.

EZRA

Nope.

RUFUS

That is deep.

JACK

Does she know about Maxx?  I mean, she called the studio number.

EZRA

God, I don’t know. 

RUFUS

Okay, now you have to call her.

Ezra reaches for a glass of whiskey. Slugs it down. Dials Naomi’s number.

RUFUS

Put it on speaker.

Ezra does. SOUND of PHONE RINGING. Naomi picks up.

NAOMI (V.O.)

Hello?

EZRA

Is she dead?

NAOMI (V.O.)

No, she’s not dead. Funny, Jeremy asked the same thing about you.

EZRA

You called Jeremy?!

He silently mouths “my ex” to the guys.  They nod.

NAOMI (V.O.)

Well, I couldn’t think who else to call, and I needed to find you. Where are you?

EZRA

I’m in the city. What happened?

NAOMI (V.O.)

Mom has dementia. Bad dementia.

RUFUS

Oh, wow...

Ezra shushes him. Jack kicks him.

NAOMI (V.O.)

Is someone there with you?  It sounded like you were having a party before.

EZRA

Yeah, sort of...

NAOMI (V.O.)

Well, I can’t do this on the phone. When can you meet?

EZRA

Friday? Lunchtime? You guys still in Jersey?

Jack and Rufus mouth “Jersey?” to each other.

NAOMI (V.O.)

Yes, Ezra, Neil has a business to run. Some of us stay in one place for more than a minute.

Rufus does a big gay snap. Jack mouths “Bitch.”

NAOMI (V.O.)

I’ll meet you in the city.

EZRA

Okay. Opera Coffee House? Friday at one.

NAOMI (V.O.)

Okay. (beat) This is important, Ezra.

EZRA

I’ll be there.

Hangs up. Silence.

EZRA

Rufus, where’s that other joint?

Rufus produces a large joint, hands it to Ezra. Lights it for him with a giant torch lighter. Ezra inhales deep, exhales smoke.

Silence. Then:

JACK

Your sister hasn’t been fucked in a very long time.

A pause. Then the three men crack up.